


Finding Gracie

by justanotheronechicagofan



Category: Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Gen, halstead brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26304556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotheronechicagofan/pseuds/justanotheronechicagofan
Summary: Will the Halstead brothers be able to reconnect with their younger sister after 5 years?Set in 2018, a story about family and friendship with sprinkles of upstead*Please check out my other post for specific trigger warnings for each chapter*
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Jay Halstead/Original Female Character(s), Will Halstead/Original Female Character
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	1. The News

Intelligence had just wrapped up on a tough case and decided to celebrate at Molly’s. 

“Where’s the drinks at? What’s taking Halstead so long??” Adam called out. Hailey rolled her eyes at Ruzek and walked over to Jay at the bar “Hey Jay, Adams gonna have a fit if you don’t get back there with the dri-” She stopped herself when she saw that he looked frozen, eyes wide as he stared at the tv screen.

The TV showed the news with a headline, YOUNG CHICAGO DIRECTOR WINS AWARDS and a group shot of what she assumed was the director and actors. Hailey couldn’t help but see the resemblance of the young woman in the middle and the woman in the photo she had seen in Jay's apartment. He never talked about the picture but she always assumed that it was his mother. “Jay?” He jumped slightly as if her calling his name pulled him back from his thoughts. He quickly shook his head and muttered “I uh I gotta go. Tell everyone I’ll buy them more rounds next time?” before leaving some notes on the counter and hastily leaving. She couldn’t help but notice a look in his eye that she had never seen before.

That combined with the photo made her uneasy, so she decided to go outside and make a call. 

“Hailey?” The man on the other line sounded surprised. “Is everything okay? Did something happen to Jay?” 

“Yeah, Jay’s not hurt or anything but uh I’m not sure if he’s okay. We were at Molly’s and this news about a young Chicago director winning an award came up. There was this young girl in the group shot and I think it reminded Jay of his mom? I’m not sure though. I just didn’t like this look he had and he just left” She noticed Will’s sharp inhale as she mentioned his mom. 

“Uh alright. Thanks for letting me know Hailey. And this stays between us.”

“Yes of course, if you need anything I’m here”

Will hurried to Jay’s apartment and banged on the door. 

“Jay come on, I know you’re in there. Open up.” He called out. When there was no answer, he sighed and used the spare key. He walked into the usually spotless apartment that now looked thrashed, beer bottles scattered around. 

“Jay?” He called out as he searched around the small apartment. 

“Jay. What’s going on?” he breathed out when he found his younger brother slumped on the bathroom floor. His worry grew when he got no response from the detective. “Jay. Come on talk to me bud” he coaxed as he crouched down in front of him. “Jay?” he repeated, lowering his head to try and catch his brother’s eyes. Without saying a single word, Jay just handed him his phone with an article pulled up.

> **A Young Chicago Director’s Film Wins Awards**
> 
> A young Chicago director, Cameron Moore won the Best First Feature Award at the Independent Film Awards for his feature _Silence_ yesterday. Moore’s first feature starred notable actors such as Samuel H. Ray and Rachel Williams as well as two young actors from Chicago, Andre Walker and Madeline Halstead. The 92 minute film first premiered in January at the Independent Film Festival and received a standing ovation. This is a very exciting time for these young Chicagoans as many winners of the Independent Film Awards have gone on to become the biggest names in Hollywood. _Silence_ tells the story of ー

Will’s heart skipped a beat when he saw the photo and read through the article. All he could say when he looked up from the phone was “She looks just like Mom.”

After a while, Jay looked up at him with red eyes and breathed out “How?” 

“What do you mean?” Will asked softly, not wanting to set his brother off.

“How is she even in Chicago Will? I’ve looked for her everywhere for the past what? 5 years?! I mean it’s like she’s a fucking ghost. And then what, she’s here?! How the hell does that happen?” The younger brother’s voice was getting angrier every second.

“I don’t know man. You know, maybe she didn’t want to be found”

“No Will. A 19 year old girl doesn’t have the power to not be on systems because she doesn’t want to be found. I mean it’s like impossible”

Underneath the anger, Will could see what Jay was really saying. **_She’s been in Chicago and yet I failed to find her._ **

“Jay, listen. I know you tried everything but there’s nothing you could have done if she’s not on a system and doesn’t want to be found. She won’t blame you for that and neither should you” 

“I just miss her Will. And what if something’s happened to her. You know the cases we get ...” Will didn’t need to hear the rest to know what Jay meant. Being an ER doc and a detective, they often saw the worst sides of people and knew the horrors that could happen, especially to young girls. “I know bud, I know. But she looks okay. And she’ll find us Jay. I’m sure of it”

* * *

**AN - The characters belong to Dick Wolf and are from the One Chicago universe he created. This is my first time writing fanfiction and English isn’t my first language so I’m nervous to post this but I wanted to give new things a try. I hope you enjoyed and would love any feedback!**


	2. Maybe

-That morning -

Madeline was staring out into the vast blue as they glided through the wispy clouds. 

_*Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent to Chicago, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bins. Thank you.*_

“Psst. Maddie” a whisper brought her back from her thoughts. 

“Hm?”

“We gotta put our seats back,” Cameron said quietly. 

“Oh. right” she said shaking herself back before pushing a button on the side of her seat.

“You alright?” he asked softly “Your head in the clouds?” smiling as he pointed out the window.

“Good one” she chuckled softly. “And yeah. I’m okay, just thinking”

“Hey. If you don’t want your name in the story it doesn’t have to be in there. Just like we did back last year and in the Summer” he stated gently as he put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed it. 

“Yeah I know. Charlie texted me about it this morning” she said leaning into him “I told him not to worry about it” she continued looking up at him. 

“Yeah?” he said, searching her eyes.

“Yeah.” she smiled “I miss them and I think - I think it’s time” as she breathed out those words, Cameron could see the mixture of emotions clouding her eyes.

“Dee, They’ll see it. I’m sure” he said with confidence hoping to reassure her. 

“Yeah” she breathed out as she turned her gaze to the window, still leaning into him. 

“Maybe”

* * *

**AN - A very very short chapter! I promise the next one will be longer :) Thank you to those who have read so far - I feel so encouraged!**


	3. Glitter

Will knocked on the familiar door for the second time that week. 

“Hey Man” he smiled when Jay appeared, looking a little confused. 

“Uh Hey.” his younger brother breathed out, stepping aside to let him in. Will shut the door and hung his jacket on to the wall as he shrugged his shoes off. 

“Did I know you were coming?” Jay called out from the kitchen. 

“No. Just thought we could have a drink” he replied, deciding not to mention that he saw Intelligence at Mollys with no sign of Jay or his red rimmed eyes when he opened the door. As he walked into the living room, he noticed that the usually bare coffee table had an open shoe box, covered in bits of bright tissue paper with piles of photos, drawings and colourful envelopes scattered around it. 

“Uh huh. Sure” Jay said, handing him a beer before going to sit on the armchair. 

“What? I can’t hang out with my lil brother?” he teased to which Jay just rolled his eyes as he took a swig of his beer. “That the box?” Will smiled, nodding towards the coffee table.

“Yeah. You keep yours?” 

“Oh yeah. Pulled it out a couple weeks ago, couldn’t get rid of the glitter for days. A girl I was treating told me that my hair was sparkly” Will laughed. 

“Yeah. You’d think that after 14 years it would have worn off but” he chuckled as he shut the lid, showing Will the top - most of the small glitter pom poms around the border had fallen off but the ‘J’ written out in glitter was still very much intact. 

“She loved the stuff - I mean it's pretty much on everything until she was what 8? 9?” Will said. 

“Mmm. You know mom had to stop her from sending me an envelope filled with it when I was over there?” Jay smiled at the memory. 

“What?” 

“Yeah. On the first tour” he said, handing him a pink envelope decorated with stickers. 

Will hesitated for a second before opening the envelope, surprised that the former Ranger would share this with him. He first pulled out a notecard with his mother's familiar and beautiful handwriting.

> Jay, 
> 
> Madeline was determined to send you an envelope filled with 'fairy dust' because it’ll “make Jay Jay safe from bad people” but we managed to convince her not to - because ‘it loses its magic by the time it gets there’ (I know. I know. I was going to try and explain it to her but your Dad started first and you know how hopeless he is saying no to her!) So, she is sending you a magic book which is even more powerful than fairy dust (who knew?) and lots and lots of kisses. 

He then pulled out the ‘magic book’ - pieces of paper, the size of the notecard stuck together with tape, each page filled with her colourful drawings of shapes and ‘people’ - blobs of smiling faces with legs coming out of them. He noticed how worn out it was, tattered around the edges with a very distinct line down the middle where it was folded. Will looked to Jay hoping he would share more. 

“Man, I carried that around with me and honestly, that uh got me through.” His tone was casual but Will knew that his mind was already starting to go down a painful memory. 

“Yeah?” he asked gently, hoping to pull him back. 

After a while, Jay slightly shook his head as he blinked his eyes. “Uh Yeah. Did you see the picture?” he said, nodding at the envelope. 

Will felt his heart bursting as he saw it. She was running with the widest grin, dressed up in a set of purple sparkly fairy wings and a pink tutu on top of her pyjamas. He flipped to the back and his mother had written; 

> 12 February ‘03 - Maddie trying out the new wings Aunt Carol sent her even though it was before bedtime! 

“Man she’s cute” Will smiled as he carefully put the contents back into the envelope. “And boy did she have dad wrapped around his finger” 

“Yeah. A 100%” Jay chuckled. 

“Speaking of - ”

“No no. We do not need to talk about Dad right now” 

“Jay, I’m just saying that he called. That’s it” Will said putting his hands up.

“Yep. He left voice messages, several. Not gonna check’em though.” he scoffed. “You know who else called though?” Jay said, his expression suddenly softening, “Gail.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Mhh, on Wednesday night. Apparently, it was on the morning news too. She said Danny couldn’t hit record fast enough.” Jay said proudly. “She’s gonna send it to me” 

“Aw. That’s sweet of her” Will said, knowing the son-like relationship Jay had grown to have with them. 

Jay nodded and they fell to a comfortable silence, each drinking their beers while looking at the photos - occasionally sharing stories and reminiscing as they did so.

* * *

**A/N -** The characters belong to Dick Wolf and are from the One Chicago universe he created. The idea for this chapter came to me in the middle of the night and I couldn’t go back to sleep till I had it down so here it is :) A Halstead brothers moment with tapping slightly into Jay’s past. I hope you like it! Again, thank you so much to those that read my work and a big shout out to those who have left kudos! You made my day. 


	4. Knock and Talk

No matter how hard Jay tried to hide it, the team noticed that something was a little off - after all, they were like family. Although everyone else assumed that it was the case they just solved, Hailey knew that it must have something to do with the woman on the tv, the day Jay hurried out of Mollys that Tuesday evening 2 weeks ago.

"Alright" Voight's harsh voice snapped her out of her thoughts. The team were currently standing in the middle of a crime scene where patrol was taping it off.

"Someone had to have seen or heard something. Go do a knock and talk. Meet back here in an hour"

"Anything?" The sergeant nodded at Halstead and Upton as they walked back to regroup.

"No luck Sarge" Jay started.

"Yeah, they're all scared to say anything" Burgess added, joining the group with Al. 

"Yep same here." Antonio said.

"Ruzek, Atwater. Anything?" Voight called out.

"No Sarge" "Nada" They said in unison as they jogged back.

"Halstead. You and Will have a sister we don't know about?" Ruzek joked, standing back with the group.

"What?" Jay laughed but Hailey saw that slight hope and panic in his eyes.

Atwater started, "Yeah. This girl looked like you Halstead's split in half, like you wouldn't believe." "Your eyes, Will's hair." Ruzek continued, pointing at Jay then at the air. "Real pretty too"

"Beats me how a girl like that's doing in this neighbourhood though.." Atwater mumbled to himself with Ruzek agreeing, the two not noticing Jay's change in expression.

"Which house?" Jay asked, showing no emotion.

Ruzek replied confused "Uh- she didn't see anything th-"

"Which. House." Jay demanded curtly as he stared down at the two officers with his famous sniper stare.

"Uhh 7153 I think it was?" "Yeah. The gray one with a white porch and iron screen door" The two quickly supplied.

Before anyone could say anything, Jay stormed off.

Jay felt his heart beating as he rushed through the street. The thought of _What if it's really her?_ circling in his mind. He ran up the stairs to the small house but paused to take a breath, preparing himself for disappointment. _Now or never_ he thought before opening the screen door and knocking.

His ears immediately perked at a woman's voice calling out "Just a minute!"

A few excruciatingly long seconds later, the door opened and Jay's breath hitched as soon as he saw her - The spitting image of their mother. "Madeline-" he breathed out feeling as if saying anything louder would make her disappear.

"Jay?" the young woman looked in shock. "Wow. I-" she started to speak but was interrupted by a quiet innocent voice.

_Did he just say Mama?_ Jay thought to himself as he took in the toddler - he had brown skin with short umber curls, doe eyed as he clung to her leg. _Wait that means she would have been pregnant at..._ He quickly snapped himself out of his thoughts as he realised he was just standing there "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything"

"No really. It's okay." she said with a genuine smile before asking "So, are you a detective now?" while nodding at his badge.

"Uh- yeah. Have been for a couple of year-"

"Mama, Mama!" Jay was cut off, the boy pulling at the fabric of her skirt as he did so. She gave an apologetic look before crouching down to the boy, "Sweets, just a second okay? Do you want to say hi to my friend Jay?"

Jay hid the pang of pain he felt being referred to as a friend as he crouched down with a wide smile "Hey bud, I'm Jay. What's your name?"

"N-Nathan" the boy said shyly, burying himself in Madeline's arms.

"Nathan huh? That's a cool name buddy. Do you want to see my badge?"

Nathan just shook his head and buried himself further into Madeline. "Looks like it's someone nap time hm?" She said softly to him, picking him up and giving his head a kiss.

The million questions urging to spill out of him was cut short by Upton walking up. "Hi. Sorry to interrupt but Jay, we gotta go" He immediately sent a desperate look, pleading to his partner but turned back around when Madeline encouraged, "No, it's okay. Jay, you should go"

"Uh yeah, okay." he said awkwardly as he touched his hairline. Mentally cursing himself as he did so - _you've wanted this moment for 5 years and this is it?_ Their interaction had felt something akin to 2 strangers or acquaintances at best rather than what they really were.

As he was turning away, Madeline called to him "Jay? What district?"

"Uh. 21st. I work in Intelligence at the 21st district" he stumbled, surprised although relieved that she asked.

"Okay. Got it" She smiled with a sparkle in her eye, "Now go - don't tell me you like to keep the criminals of Chicago waiting"

As Hailey watched the two of them say their goodbyes, she smiled as she couldn't help but notice the resemblance in the way the young woman and her partner laughed.

"She's pretty." She said looking up at him as they walked away from the house.

"Huh?" Jay said, obvious that he was sucked into his thoughts.

"She's pretty. She looked a lot like you Jay"

"Uh, yeah. She is. So, what have'we got?"

As Hailey relayed the information from Voight, she made a mental note to not let this go. If that young woman really was his sister, then there definitely was more to the story.

* * *

**A/N -** The characters belong to Dick Wolf and are from the One Chicago universe he created. An unexpected reunion - please let me know what you think. I would love to hear your feedback! 


	5. Mint Green Envelope

Most days, Trudy Platt loved her job being a desk Sergeant at the 21st but today was just not one of those days. She’d had enough of the general lack of politeness from the people that came into the district and the naivety that ran through the new set of patrolmen they had gotten to replace Burgess and Atwater. _Oh to have them back again_ she thought to herself while sorting through her trusty rolodex, when she felt someone standing by her desk. 

“Well don’t just stand there.” she deadpanned as she continued to busy herself. 

“Excuse me Ma’am?” 

“It’s Sergeant” she said, not bothering to look up “Can I help you?”

“Sergeant, I’m sorry if this is a bad time but is Detective Halstead in today?” 

Her ears perked up to the politeness and the mention of Halstead. She’ll never admit it but she saw the younger detectives in Intelligence like her own kids. When she looked up, she nearly did a double take but composed herself, “Uh ... yes he is. But he’s out at the minute, I can take a message” 

“That’ll be great actually. If it’s not too much to ask, could you give this to him please? I know you’re all really busy.” Platt watched the young woman sift through her bag and place an envelope on the desk, the mint green complimenting her pale pink nails which were perfectly manicured. 

“Of course. You know, you can wait over there,” Platt said, pointing towards the benches near the side office. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

“Thank you for the offer but I really have to get going. Have a nice day, Sergeant Platt.” The young woman shared a sweet smile before she quickly glided away. 

The Sergeant was left stunned. _Is that …? Surely not. Maybe I should check the records …_ she quickly shook off her thoughts. As she leaned towards the desk to pick up the envelope, she noticed a soft lingering scent of flowers.

“Okay. What is up with you?” Hailey asked as Jay parked his truck back at the district.

“What? Nothing.” Jay replied hastily, getting out of the car. 

“Uh uh. This conversation isn’t over. Seriously Jay” She pushed as they walked up the stairs. “Is this something to do with the girl that you saw a couple days ago?” When she got no response she tried her luck as they walked into the lobby. “Because if it is we could go see her again” 

“Hailey-” 

“Hey Chuckles.” Sergeant Platt called them over. “You have a cousin in town or something? She dropped this off for you. Perfect penmanship” She said, eyeing him for a reaction as she handed him a mint green envelope with Detective Halstead, Intelligence written in perfect cursive.

His eyebrows raised as he took the envelope in but he quickly schooled his face. “Uh Thanks Sarge” he said swiftly before hurrying up the stairs into the bullpen. 

“What’s up with him?” Platt scoffed but Hailey just shrugged. 

Upstairs, Jay headed straight to the locker room and sat down on the bench. He breathed out deeply before carefully opening the envelope and pulling out a notecard with the same mint green border. 

> Hey Jay,
> 
> It was a total surprise seeing you yesterday. I know you're busy but I would love it if you wanted to catch up sometime? I wrote my number on the back. :) I missed you.
> 
> Love Maddie xx

A smile crept through his face as he read the note over and over again. _She wants to meet up._ He released a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

* * *

**A/N -** The characters belong to Dick Wolf and are from the One Chicago universe he created. A little appearance from the one and only Trudy Platt! (I honestly think she’s so underrated) as well as Hailey. I can't thank you all enough for coming back for each chapter :) If you have any suggestions or preferences for other characters to include, please let me know! 


	6. The Call

Jay caught himself feeling slightly disappointed when it went to voicemail but couldn’t help but smile as he listened to the pre recorded message. 

*Hi, you’ve reached Madeline. I’m sorry I missed your call but I’ll call you back as soon as I can. Please leave a message and have a good day!* 

“Hey Mads. I got your card. Maybe we can have lunch or something if you’re up for it? Lemme know when you’re free, cause uh I’ve missed you. Alright, call me.” he sighed as he ended the call and slid his phone back into his pocket. 

“So, who’s your secret admirer?” his partner’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Uh- not an admirer. She’s -”

Sensing his awkwardness, she quickly supplied “The girl from yesterday?” 

“Yeah, the girl from yesterday. I called but uh voicemail” he said. 

“Ahh” She gave a sympathetic smile before saying “Voight wants us at the board” nodding at the door. 

“Copy that” he said as he shut his locker. Hailey couldn’t help but notice that he eyed the envelope on the shelf beforehand. 

Hailey glanced at her partner as he checked his phone for probably the millionth time that day before taking a swig of his coffee and sighing. 

“She’s probably busy,” she said softly. 

“That’s what I keep telling myself” he muttered as he tipped his head back into the headrest. 

“Jay. She’ll call” She said matter of factly, hoping that would reassure him. 

Hailey decided not to touch on the subject any further but noticed how distant he was getting as the day went on. She’d seen how the excitement that flashed across his face every time his phone buzzed, quickly became replaced with something she couldn’t quite place as soon as he looked at his screen.

It was now nearing 8pm and they were at a point in their case where they couldn’t get any further until they hopefully got something from the all day surveillance they had set up tomorrow. 

“Alright. Go home and rest up. I need you all back here at 8 suited up and ready to go” Voight’s order was met with sighs of relief from the team. 

“Jay, you not leaving?” Antonio called out from the landing where they were all standing, ready to head downstairs. 

“Uh yeah. I am.” he said as he got up, putting his phone back in his pocket. “I need to grab some stuff from my locker though so you guys head off without me” 

“Alright then, see ya” Antonio replied before heading downstairs, Adam, Kevin and Kim following after saying byes. 

“You sure?” Hailey asked, leaving ‘you’re okay?’ unsaid as she searched his face. 

“Yeah. See you tomorrow Hails” he replied with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes before disappearing to the lockers. 

  
  


Jay trudged up the stairs of his apartment, slightly slamming the door when he entered. He peeled off his shoes and threw his keys into the bowl before heading straight to the fridge. He flung away his phone next to him on the sofa and took a swig of his beer while he searched for a distraction on the tv. He heard his phone ping but turned it on silent, frustrated when it was just a notification from Facebook. A while had passed and he was now on his second beer and starting his takeout. He caught himself reaching for his phone and stopped but the desperation got the better of him 2 minutes later. He erupted into a smile when he saw his screen.

> **💬Madeline [16 minutes ago]**
> 
> Hey. Sorry, I’ve been busy all day. I’m free now though if you want to call? :) 

He instantly unlocked his phone and pressed call, losing confidence that she would pick up when it finally connected on the last ring. “Sorry sorry! Couldn’t remember where I put the phone down.”

“Hey Maddie” he smiled hearing her voice “So, where was it?”

“In the fridge” she laughed. “I know, new one for me too, embarrassing really. Anyways, um Hi.” 

“Hey. This a bad time?” He asked, noticing the shuffling and clattering in the background. 

“Hm? Oh no no, great time. I’m just putting away dishes and reheating dinner at the same time” 

“Ahh. Friend coming over?” Jay tried to sound nonchalant as he contemplated the possibility that the ‘friend’ could be the father of his sister’s child. 

“No friend” she chuckled, “It’s for me”

“Wha- Mads. You haven’t had dinner? How come?” he questioned, his big brother instincts kicking in. 

“Honestly, it was just one thing after another - hectic day” 

“Maddie, you should eat - what you having?”

“We had spaghetti and meatballs tonight so meatballs it is. What’d you have?”

“Chinese takeout. So, tell me about this hectic day” 

“You sure you want to hear? It’s probably really boring compared to yours” 

“I’m all ears Mads” 

“Okay well, I had classes till 4:30 and was going to the library to study but then, day care called and said Nate was having a really bad day so I picked him up and I kind of needed Mrs Carter to watch him but she wasn’t in cause you know it’s not her usual day to. I didn’t end up getting much work done but you know, it’s good that I spent the day with Nate cause I don’t think I would have been able to concentrate anyways.” Listening to her chatter, _I missed this_ he thought. 

“That’s uh - that’s really busy Mads. You okay? And classes? Where’s school?” He stumbled through the reply, trying to dig through the information that he had just learnt. 

“Oh. The classes aren’t for school. It’s ballet classes. I do go to college too which I guess is school” she laughed. 

“Wow Mads. College? Guess you and Will took all the smart genes huh” he joked. “That’s really great. And you’re a ballerina?” he smiled, remembering the rare time he got to go to a recital during his leave. 

“Not yet. Training to be one though.” she said bashfully. 

“Mads, that’s - I’m real proud” he beamed, wishing that he could tell her in person. 

“Thanks.” she said before mumbling “Mmm man, that’s good”

“You good there?” he said amused, an eyebrow raising. 

“Yeah. I was just like SO hungry, you know. So … What about you Jay? How was yours? 

“Uh yeah. It was good” 

“Uh huh. Come on I told you about my day, you gotta tell me yours. Please?” he chuckled as she said the last word, seeing her signature puppy eyes in his mind. 

“Well, I can’t tell you much because a lot of it’s confidential but most of the day was chasing leads” 

“And that’s **_all_ ** you can say?” she said dramatically 

“Uh … ask around, talk to people, although sometimes you have to chase them to. Look at CCTV footage, track down calls, things like that” he listed. 

“And you do that on the daily??” her voice mesmerised, reminding him of the times he and Mouse would tell their more positive stories from the tours. 

“Yeah. Most times when we’re solving a case. Sometimes we’ll go undercover or go do surveillance or something.” 

“That’s awesome Jay. You have like **_the_ ** coolest job in the world” she stated in awe. 

“Yeah. I guess I do.” he said as he relished in the reminder for a second before joking “Don’t let Will hear you say that though!”

“Hm, yeah-” He heard her trail off with an emotion he couldn’t quite place.

“What is it Mads?” 

“No it’s nothing.” she said quickly. 

“You sure?” he asked. 

“Yeah, all good” she said a little too cheerfully. He was about to push but stopped himself, unsure of how that would sit in their present dynamic.

“Your day. It uh- it sounds like a lot. You sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah it’s fine Jay. I have a routine down and-” their conversation was cut short as cries filled the other end of the line. “Sorry, hang on a sec?” He listened to his sister trying her hardest to soothe the toddler. “Sorry Jay I-”

“No Mads. Don’t apologize - go. He needs you” 

“Okay. I love you” she said before quickly ending the call. 

Those last three words made him taken aback, opening the door to a range of emotions. Maybe she had just said it as a customary thing, but he wanted to ask her - _how? why?_ He tried to remember the last time she had said that to him. It was the week after her 14th birthday. She had made him promise that he would come see her but was calling to apologise and tell her that he couldn’t. Although that short conversation left him with more questions than answers, he felt that warmth filling the hole again. He tried to hold on to it but it lost to the usual suspect. Guilt. He sat there motionless, letting the trains of thoughts run free in its tracks and take over. 

* * *

**A/N -** The characters belong to Dick Wolf and are from the One Chicago universe he created. Whew! This is the longest chapter I’ve written so far although it was mostly dialogue (which I want to get better at because I feel like it sounds so unnatural). Sorry it took a while for me to update. I’m thinking of having Upstead in the next chapter :)


	7. The Thing that Works

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: References parental death and missing persons investigation

Several loud knocks on Jay’s door jerked him from his stillness. 

His phone screen flashed back at him - 22:38 and multiple texts from his partner. 

💬 **Hailey :)** 23 minutes ago - I'm gonna take your lack of response as a no - I'm coming over

💬 **Hailey :)** 48 minutes ago - You okay? 

💬 **Hailey :)** 1hr ago - Wanna grab a beer? I’ll buy. :) 

_Shit_ \- Considering he doesn’t even know where the past hour is gone, he really isn’t in the mood to see people. Especially people that he can’t hide from. Rubbing his face, he quickly made his way to the door. Before he even has the chance to tell her that he’s fine, his partner makes her way into the apartment, his favourite 6pack in tow. 

“Hails-”

“Nope. I get you don’t wanna be alone but that’s just not gonna happen” she says, already putting the beers in the fridge. Knowing he’s already lost this, he sighs and goes to grab the glasses. When he turns, he can’t help but smile seeing her struggling to reach for the whisky.

“I got it,” he said, swiftly grabbing it. 

“Why’d you put it so high?” she huffs.

“Because, someone had a little too much and kept fighting me for more last time, remember?” he patronised with a smile on his face as he poured. He’ll never admit it but there’s a little part of him that left it there because he finds it cute. 

She gives him a look but a second later, her eyes crinkle. “Still had that hangover though” laughing in the brightest way. 

He chuckled and they clinked their glasses together before falling into a comfortable silence. 

They stand around the counter slowly sipping and although there’s a part of Hailey that wants to know, she decides to to just join him in the quiet. 

After a while he reveals, “That girl from yesterday. She’s my sister” 

She suspected it but it still takes her back. Reigning in the questions popping up in her mind, she just asks “What’s her name?” 

“Maddie. Madeline Grace” Jay said with a small smile. 

“That’s pretty. It suits her” she said. 

“Yeah it does. Mom had it picked out way before she knew she was having a girl” Hailey notices how this is the first time in weeks she’s seen him genuinely smile. 

“Oh wow. Prepared lady.” 

“Hell no. We were both in high school when Maddie was born - Will was a senior!” Jay laughed. “Total surprise after Mom and Dad went to the cabin for their wedding anniversary.”

“Well, that cabin does have views,” she said, remembering when Jay invited Intelligence to Wisconsin in the Summer. 

“Yeah. Mom was thrilled. I mean she loved us but I think she always wanted a girl. And man did Maddie have all of us wrapped around her finger, even Dad”

Hailey chuckled as the image of a teenage Will and Jay trying to win the affection of a newborn popped in her head. 

“What?” Jay smiled holding her gaze.

“Just trying to imagine how that went down,” she amused. 

“Oh it's exactly like you imagine it. Gets funnier when she got into fairies”

“Did you join in?” she asked, holding back the laughter even though she knew the answer would be yes. 

“Course I did Hails. Tea parties, playing house, being her horse, serious business.” he listed schooling his face before joining Hailey who was bursting. 

“Seriously though, younger me would have loved that” Hailey said once they calmed down. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhh. I was more into princesses than fairies but my 12 and 9 year old brothers weren’t as keen. They were good when I wanted to join in playing cops though so guess that came in handy” she joked. 

“I guess it did,” Jay smiled, imagining a little Hailey running around. “C’mon what do you wanna ask me?” he said when he saw her debating something in her head. 

“Uh- The tv the other night. I looked it up and that film- I mean, was she always into acting?”

“Mmm. Was a surprise to me too. I haven’t asked her about it yet but I guess she always did liked to perform”

“Perform?” she said, cocking her head. 

“Yeah. She’s loved ballet ever since Mom first took her - I think she was like 3 or something. Told me today that she’s training to be one” he replied, proud. 

“Really? Jay! That’s amazing!” 

“Yeah. I’m so proud of her. I mean, Will and I always knew she would” he beamed. 

“You have any photos?” Hailey asked, relieved seeing Jay this happy. 

He came back from the bedroom moments later and handed her a purple file folder decorated around the edge with gem stickers. She first picked up the stack of pictures and as she looked through them, the red haired girl in beautiful costumes grew before her, perfectly poised and always smiling widely at the camera. 

“Man, you Halstead’s don’t like to go half way with doing things do you?” Hailey joked, perusing through the several clippings of local papers, the word ‘places’ and ‘wins’ jumping out at her in almost every headline. When she got to the last one, she paused at the date. 

> **Carlisle ballerina wins first place in Youth America Grand Prix** | _14 January 2013_
> 
> Madeline Halstead of Carlisle took first place in the junior classical division of the Youth America Grand Prix Regional Semi-Finals held in Pennsylvania this past weekend. The 13 year old who has trained at the Central Pennsylvania Youth Ballet since the age of 7, performed three variations in front of 5 judges and a full audience. Although the Youth Grand Prix is considered to be the world’s largest ballet competition, this was not the first time Madeline captured a win. Miss Halstead first received gold when she was just 10 years old, going on to place in the top 12 in her category every year at the Philadelphia Semi Finals. The spotlight is on for Madeline as she prepares ahead for the NY Finals in April where she placed third in the same category last year. 

She furrowed her eyebrows as she flicked back through the articles - the earlier ones were mostly about holiday productions held in local schools but there was at least one for every year starting from 2006. _Where were the others?_

“That’s the last one,” Jay said, reading her thoughts. 

She looked back at him confused, _but that’s 5 years ago_. He meets her with the same indescribable expression she had witnessed that night at Mollys. Jay bore into her as if he was analyzing her trust, then finally placed a file she didn’t catch the first time round in front of her. She tensed as she instantly recognised the front. A case file. 

> **Carlisle P.D. - Missing Juvenile Report**
> 
> Name: Madeline Grace Halstead 
> 
> Age:14. Female. White. 5'4", 93 lbs. Red hair, long. 
> 
> Last seen: Exiting ballet studio at 21:32 on 6/03/2013 walking towards North Street.
> 
> Reported: 20:36 on 7/03/2013 
> 
> Reported by: Robert Louis Davis, MD

Her breath hitched as she read the first few lines of the report. She looked back at him when she got to the reported time. _Why did it take that long to report? Who is Robert? He’s a doctor? And where even is Carlisle?_

Hailey watched as Jay downed his drink and slowly began. 

“When Mom died- She uh went to go live with our aunt in Pennsylvania- cause none of us really could be with Maddie. Me n Mouse, we’d just got back, Dad was drinking and - I mean Will didn’t even come back for the funeral.” Hailey noticed the tinge of blame that was there. A smile touched his eyes as he continued, “But Mads loved it in Carlisle. Mamie, our aunt was Mom’s best friend and um she never had kids but she used to come over all the time and she helped us out a lot when Mom got sick. Mads and Mamie, they’d always call or send pictures and me n Mouse would go whenever we could. Mamie and Rob, they really helped me and Mouse out that first year cause- we were just- ” 

Hailey recognised that look in Jay as he trailed off. She always saw it creep up no matter how hard he tried to hide it. She didn’t know where to take this but she figured that him giving her the case file was his way of an invitation. She asked gently, wanting to bring him back. “Jay. She was walking home?” 

Jay slightly shook, bringing himself back and continued, “Maddie always biked or walked there cause it’s like a 15 minute walk and the towns small, safe. Tree lined streets, I mean the actual studios in a college.”

“And Robert? He didn’t realise?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t even look at him because of it then. But I can’t blame the guy - he got home that night at 2am and then slept cause he’d worked 18 hours. The school didn’t call him and Mamie didn’t pick up when the studio called cause she was out of town. Mads usually went straight there from school so he didn’t even know. Only found out when he went to pick her up. They tried but by the time it got reported it was-”

“Nearly 24 hours gone” Hailey thought aloud. 

“Yeah. Didn’t have anything to work with. The footage of her leaving the studio was the last thing, she didn’t show up on any eyes after. Just disappeared. They put out AMBER alerts and reached out to Chicago and New York cause that’s where me and Will were. They thought maybe she ran away but-” 

“She would have shown up on footage” Hailey finished the sentence.

“Yeah.” Jay breathed out, looking down the empty glass. “That and we knew her. She was so excited for the Finals in NY. Case never closed but after a while -” he shaked his head. Hailey watched his body clench as resentment smouldered his features “Not even a year after, Dad started speaking like she was dead. Like she was with Mom. Haven’t talked to him since” Hailey then witnessed the slight, almost imperceptible change in him, but couldn’t quite place it. He inhaled shakily then breathed out, 

“Thing is -”

“I thought she was dead too” 

It made sense to Hailey now. How her partner always seemed to find the cases involving kids the hardest. How he always went beyond helping out families who lost theirs. She wondered if maybe that’s why he joined Intelligence. If maybe in those late nights he stayed even when all the paperwork was done, he was searching for her. And that look she’d seen that night at Mollys. She could name it now. It was a look she would never be able to fully understand. 

And as his escaping tears crumbled the wall away, she moved silently and held him. 

She was going to stay with him tonight. 

* * *

**A/N -** The characters belong to Dick Wolf and are from the One Chicago universe he created. A long chapter featuring Hailey and Jay. This was really difficult for me to write so I hope it turned out okay. Although this is an imaginary work, I understand this is a heartbreaking issue that unfortunately affects many families. I tried to do some research but if you have any pointers regarding this topic, please let me know. Thank you so much to those that are coming along on this story with me :) 


	8. Apple Bunnies

Madeline stirred at the sound of the door creaking open down the hallway. Her eyes still closed, she smiled as she heard the patter of feet - _5,4,3,2_ , - the door cracked open and she was met with giggles as Nate crawled into the bed. 

“Morning Mama” he said with the sweetest smile. 

“Good Morning Nate” she chuckled as he snuggled into him. She reached for her phone on the bedside table - _6:03. Just 10 more minutes._ This was her favorite moment in the day - the world just felt more quieter, warmer, safe. She liked to relish in that feeling, a reminder that she wasn’t running anymore. They watched the small room - just big enough to fit a full bed - slowly light up, Nate tracing shapes on the sheets. 

She grabbed her yoga mat from the corner of the room and they headed downstairs. A part of their routine, the dancer spent the next half hour waking up her body while the toddler sat on the floor, building legos. As she did, she replayed the conversation she had with Jay. She had feared that it would be awkward but the pieces fell right back - just like when Jay would call on the sage coloured phone on Mamie’s kitchen wall. She exhaled slowly, noticing how the heavy had been lifted off. 

_“Mads, I’m real proud.”_ She let a smile run loose as that sentence circled in her mind. ‘Proud.’ She had heard that word a lot recently. From Ty, from Charlie, from Cameron, Dani and Papa. But this felt different. She couldn’t figure out what but it just felt, More. _He’s proud of me. The former Ranger turned cop and detective is proud of me._ She tried to hold on to that feeling, pushing down the Voice that threatened to take over. 

Once she had rolled the mat back up, she scooted over to Nate who was intensely building something. 

“Can I see what you’re building?” 

“No. I’m not done yet.” he replied not looking up, his face full of concentration. 

“Okay.” she smiled, finding the way he furrowed his eyebrows adorable. “Do you want eggs or cereal for breakfast?” 

He immediately shot up his head and said, “Eggs. And bunny apples!” 

“Bunny apples!?” Madeline followed, feigning the dramatics.

“Please Mama. They’re my favorite” he said with the widest smile. 

“Bunny apples it is” she laughed. “I’m gonna be in the kitchen okay?” kissing his head. 

She sipped on tea while she quickly whipped up scrambled eggs, toast and of course - the apple bunnies. Ever since she tried them out after seeing it on youtube, Nate had loved them and requested it every time he wanted apples. She didn’t mind though - she loved watching him get so happy and hey, if it’ll get him to eat fruit she would happily make apple anything. Just as she was finished, he ran up to her, hugging her legs. 

“Hey. Breakfast’s ready” she said, hugging him. 

“Mama! I finished my lego. Come!” he said proudly. 

“Yeah? How about you show it to me while we eat?”

“Okay” he smiled before opening the kitchen cupboard and handing Madeline his plate, cup and fork. 

“Good job. Thank you” she said high fiving him. While he ran to the living room to grab his creation, she filled the plates and set them on the dining table next to each other. 

“I’m excited - show me” she smiled, when she spotted him returning, his hands carefully holding onto his creation. 

His smile grew wide. “Look mama! Look!” he said excitedly. “It’s a firehouse. Like Daddy’s. It has a door for the firetruck and Daddy’s ambulance truck. And look! That’s Daddy!” he explained proudly, pointing at the different parts. 

“Wow Nate! This is awesome!” she admired “Can we put it on the table and you can tell me more?” 

They were just about finished with breakfast when they heard the front door open. 

“Daddyyy!” Nate jumped off his chair and ran, Madeline following. 

“Hey big guy” Tyrone smiled as he caught him, “I missed you” 

“I miss you!” Nate said hugging his neck, legs wrapping around him. 

“Glad the feelings mutual bud” Tyrone laughed, shutting the door and shrugging his shoes off before side hugging Madeline with the arm that wasn’t supporting Nate. “Hey.” he smiled and nodded towards the kitchen, “Breakfast time?”

“Mmhh” she smiled back. “And Nate has something to show Daddy doesn’t he?” she said enthusiastically. 

“Oh yeah?” he asked, pinching Nate’s cheek. “What’s this you have to show me” he said, setting Nate on the ground who ran excitedly into the kitchen. 

When they walked in, Nate called out from the table “Wait! Stop. Mama and Daddy do drums!” 

“Okay.” Madeline laughed. “Ty ready?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Yep” he smiled back. “Alrighttt. And now… we have Nate showing us something very special, drumroll please!” Madeline announced dramatically as Tyrone followed making sounds. 

Nate giggled watching them before displaying his hand towards his lego creation and exclaiming “Ta daa!”

Tyrone immediately walked up to the table to happily inspect his son’s masterpiece. He picked Nate up and sat him on his lap as the toddler explained brightly “Daddy! This is your firehouse. Look! The door opens and this is your ambulance truck. And that is you! And this is a fire truck” Madeline watched as the two interacted, Ty smiling proudly at Nate. That warm fuzzy feeling filling her body. _I can never get tired of seeing this._

“Mama!” Nate’s voice brought her back. “Daddy sayed he love it!” he says with the brightest smile. 

“Course I do little man. I mean, Maddie did you see the detail?” he said, light in his eyes. 

“I did, especially cool how the ladder moves sweets” she replied, kissing Nate’s cheek, making him giggle. 

“Alright, Lil guy. Let’s get you ready” Tyrone said, carrying him upstairs. She stayed to wash the dishes and tidy the kitchen before following to get ready herself. 

Tyrone and Madeline were now standing in the kitchen, leaning on the counters as Nate watched Sesame street in the living room. 

“How was shift?” Madeline asked, taking a sip of her second cup of tea. 

“Alright. Nothing crazy. How was last night? He said he had a bad dream?”

“Yeah. But we got through it, woke me up this morning all smiley. Risotto and chicken from last night’s in the fridge and oh! Kayla texted. Asked if Nate wanted to do a playdate soon, I’m thinking next Friday? We’ll probably go round to hers” she filled him in. 

“Alright cool” he replied before looking into the fridge “Mmm, thank you! I will definitely be having this for lunch”

“Glad your excitement towards my risotto hasn’t changed” she chuckled before stating quietly “Ty, Jay called” 

His face immediately lit up, “Girl! You should have started off with that! How was it?”

“Ty, it was-. It was really good. It wasn’t awkward, it was- I missed him” she rambled.

“M, that’s so good. Really. You gonna meet up?” 

“Yeah. Asked about this weekend. Hopefully he’ll say yes” 

“Hopefully? Nah M. He’s going to for sure.” He said with such confidence. 

“You don’t know that. And what if they’re only free on Sunday?”

“I do know. Trust me, Jay’ll say yes. And if it's Sunday then go for dinner.” he said matter of factly. 

“Wha- Ty. I’ll be missing Sunday dinner” With their busy schedules meaning that the three of them rarely ate together, they had made it a tradition. 

“Why not though? As much as I love Sunday dinner … It’s not every weekend you get to meet your brother again M. Think about it” 

“Yeah okay.” she sighed. _He is right, and who knows? Maybe Jay’s free Saturday. I really hope they’re on board with meeting each other._

“What you thinking?” Tyrone asked, noticing a faraway look in her eyes. 

“Um, what do you think about us three meeting up with Jay at some point?”

“Yes” he grinned.“Thought you’d never ask”

“Yeah?” she smiled relieved, although she couldn’t imagine a scenario where he would have said no.

“Of course M. He’s your brother.” he said softly. 

Madeline noticed how he had a slight nervous look in his eyes. “Ty, what is it?” 

“D’you think he’d be cool being an uncle to Nathan?”

“Yeah. Course he will.” she said matter of factly, slightly confused that he would ask. 

“No M. I mean like really be a part of his day to day. We’ve met Charlie and we see the Moore’s and I’m happy with that. It’s just and I know he’s your brother but, this feels like it should be- I dunno”

“I know what you mean. They’re my family too but with Jay-. I feel like I have this need for this to go right. You know? I really want him to be a part of this.” she said. 

“Oh good.” Tyrone breathed out relieved. “I got scared that you’d say no for a second” 

Madeline gave him a confused look. “What? Why?” she laughed. 

“No. I know that you wouldn’t say no I mean like you thinking that your brother wouldn’t be on board” he explained. 

“Ohh. Yeah, no. The one thing you need to know about Jay is that once he’s in your corner, he’s really in. He’ll love him and you. No doubt” she said smiling. “So, you’re cool with me and Nate potentially meeting up with Jay when you’re on shift?” she double checked. 

“Yeah. All about it” he said, returning the smile. “Alrigghhtt. So we’re on the same page?” he said, putting his fist out. 

“Yep, same page.” she laughed, bumping it.

“So, what was Jay like?” he asked, curious.

“He was exactly the same” she chuckled. “I mean I think like for the first 5 seconds, we both felt like uhh how did we talk again? But after that it was like when he used to call when I was with Mamie and Robbie. Listening to me ramble, the overprotective streak coming through, worrying about me and food or me and boys.” she chattered before laughing. “Ty, when I told him I was reheating dinner, he was trying to be all casual like, ‘oh is a friend coming over?’ when I know for sure he had the boyfriend alert blasting”

He joined in the laughter before saying “Wait. You’ve told him about us right?”

“Mmmm. Not yet”

“Wha- M!” 

“Ty. It’s _fine._ Chill. And I’m going to tell him, just like I did with everyone else - face to face y’know? It’s more special that way.” she said. 

“Alright, just as long as I do not have to face an overprotective brother who happens to also be a detective.” he said jokingly, although she could see the genuine nervousness in his eyes. 

“Okay. He’s gonna be fine. And honestly, people think he’s scary but he’s really not. Under it all, he’s really just a softie.” she laughed reassuring him before shifting her glance towards the clock. “Oh crap! I gotta go” she said, quickly tipping out the rest of the tea in the sink before going back out into the living room, Tyrone following. 

“Nate, come say bye to Mama” Tyrone said as she grabbed her bag and slipped on her coat. Nate slid off the sofa and ran to her. 

She crouched down and cupped his face, “Sweets, I’m going to go to class now but I’ll pick you up from daycare okay?”

“Okay Mama. Love you” he said, cuddling into her. 

“I love you. Have a good day” she smiled between kisses. He giggled and kissed in return, high fiving her before he went back to the tv. She smiled watching him then turned to Tyrone. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, putting on her boots. “And please, stay safe,” she pleaded, hugging him. 

“Always do. Love you” he returned the hug. 

“Love you too. Bye!” she called out before heading out to her car. As she drove, she smiled at the realisation that her families were going to meet each other. 

Seeing the sky, she sent a little prayer to the clouds; 

> _Hey Mommy, it's Maddie._
> 
> _Hope you’re having a good week up there. You probably already saw this happen but I wanted to tell you anyway. I saw Jay this week. I don’t know how we found each other but we did. We talked and fingers crossed that I’ll see him this weekend. Wishing a little bit that Will was here too but I know that he’ll come home when it’s time and that you’re watching over him in New York._
> 
> _I_ _'_ _m safe and I’m doing good._
> 
> _I love you._

* * *

**A/N -** Hello! :) A lot lighter chapter compared to my last one. I hope you guys enjoyed getting a peak into Madeline’s life with Nate and Ty! I’m thinking about having the big reunion in the next one although I’m not sure yet. A big special thank you to every person that has left kudos on this work. Thank you so much for reading and I'm so glad that you are enjoying this story so far! 


	9. Halstead Hug

Will was currently sitting in an old school diner booth, viewing the people pass on the street. Seeing Hailey’s text that she was worried about Jay, he had wasted no time in setting up a Halstead brothers lunch. He was glad that Jay had a partner that had his back the way Hailey did. Will knew that Jay had always struck lucky in partners - apart from that asshole when he was in patrol - but he could tell that Jay truly trusted Hailey. Hell, she probably knew some things that no one else knew. Will would be lying if he said that he didn’t notice the way they looked at each other too… Will watched the large truck pull up and a few seconds later, the detective walked in - the head to toe black complimenting the red and white diner.

“Hey Man” he greeted as he stood up, hugging Jay.

“Hey.” Jay said sitting down, “Why the lunch?”

“Got the night shift tonight, why not?” he replied, trying to sound casual.

“Uh huh.” Jay said unconvinced, starting to peruse the menu.

“Soo- You okay?” Will dragged out.

“Yeah. I’m good. I’m thinking the monte cristo with fries” he flashed a smile but Will knew better.

“Jay -”

“Mads texted this morning. Asked if we wanted to meet up this weekend’. I’m free both days. You?”

“Wha- Hold on. She knows I’m back? How’d she take it?”

“Not the question. So, you free or not?”

“Yeah. I’m free Saturday.” he answered promptly, wanting to know Madeline’s reaction.

“Cool. Saturday it is then” Jay said, shooting a text.

“So? What did she say?” the doctor asked again, worried about the outcome.

“She didn’t say anything, didn’t get to tell her” he said, his lips curving at the screen.

“Wha- Jay, you sure this is a good idea? Maybe you should see her first” Will rambled.

“No, we’re gonna go see her Saturday Will” Jay stated matter of factly.

“Jay. Think about this, do we wanna throw surpri-”

“Will. It’s been 5 years. I think she’d want to see us together. If you don’t wanna come then fine.” Jay said curtly but Will was unphased. He knew how much pressure Jay was putting on himself for this to go right. 

“No no, of course I’m coming little brother. So you’re thinking the monte cristo huh?”

\- That Saturday -

“You sure this is the place?” Will said getting out of the truck, 15 minutes early as usual as it was going anywhere with Jay. 

They found themselves on a tucked away street in Lincoln Park, in front of what looked to be a house - a two story with tiled roofs and a charming small arched wooden door.

“Only one way to find out,” Jay said, leading the way.

They were greeted with the aroma of coffee and the warmth that enveloped the atmosphere - different shades of wood and plants hugged the walls as glass pendants like jewels, lit the space. There was a sense of calm even as the chatter filled the popular coffee shop. The brothers parted to try and find a spot but came back almost instantly.

“You find any?” Jay nodded towards Will.

“Nope, you?” Will asked, popping the p.

“Mmm” Jay shook his head. “Check upstairs?” he said, already walking towards the staircase - decorated with various frames and artworks - but stopped at the hand painted ‘reserved’ sign hung on the post.

“Huh. Guess we’ll just wait ti-”

“You must be Jay” the two brothers jumped at the sudden voice.

Will held back a chuckle as they turned around and the detective faced the older woman whom he guessed to be in her late 70’s. Jay in his signature all black and the woman in full technicolor - A monochrome striped jacket over a stark white shirt and green patterned trousers, adorned with a chunky resin necklace and a multitude of multicoloured bracelets. She was of a petite stature with short brown hair, smile lines showing on her golden olive skin.

“Uhh yes?” Jay said confused, not knowing how she knew his name.

“Oh, I got ahead of myself” she laughed, the pink lipstick complimenting the twinkle in her eyes. “I’m Rosa, I own this little place. You gentlemen wanting to head upstairs?”

“Sorry. We’re supposed to meet up with our sister and were hoping for seats up there but” Jay said, indicating towards the sign.

“Well, a good thing that it’s reserved for you. Follow me” she winked and the brothers raised their eyebrows before doing so.

They took in the room when they reached the landing. A couple of petite tables with mismatched chairs were dotted around while two leather armchairs in front of the fireplace centered the space. Flames danced within in the intricate mahogany mantel, flanked by shelves overflowing with books. Their eyes travelled to the far end of the room - a mixture of emerald and gold illuminated with natural light.

“That’s her favourite spot right there. She was just so excited, I insisted on reserving it. Such a sweet girl.” Rosa smiled moving further, inviting them to follow. “I thought she only mentioned meeting you. Although my memory is getting a bit awry these days” she laughed looking up at Jay.

“You thought right, we’re surprising her” Jay winked, charming Rosa.

Will chuckled before following with his introduction “I’m Will. Madeline’s other brother. It’s nice to meet you” 

“Ahhh, the New York doctor. Visiting?” she asked, gesturing to them for their coats.

“Uh- No, here to stay.” he said, kicking himself as he was reminded yet again of the missed time between him and his baby sister.

“A full reunion - how lovely! She’ll be ecstatic, she always missed you two.” her smile broadened before continuing, “Madeline said that you’d order a regular and what can I get you?” looking to Jay then Will while hanging their coats.

“A cappuccino please” the older brother smiled.

“Alright. Well, I’ll leave you two to it. Family’s a special thing, there’s never a wrong time to reconnect. I hope that surprise goes well!” she encouraged before walking away. 

They sat on the emerald velvet banquette along the window, framed from the room by gold silk curtains. As they waited, only the faint cracklings of the fire were heard, the layers of fabric absorbing the carrying chatter. The brothers couldn’t help but notice a familiarity, a sense of home in this treasure of a place they had just come to discover. 

“And here I was thinking I would be early” a light laughter pulled the brothers out of their thoughts. 

Will saw how Jay’s features lit up in an instant.

“Maddie! There she is” he beamed, getting out of the seat as Madeline walked towards the booth. Jay hesitated for a second but enveloped his sister in a bear hug as soon as she crashed into him.

“I really really missed you” she mumbled into his chest

“I really really missed you too,” Jay said softly, kissing the top of her head.

They stayed like this for a while, not wanting to let go - tears sprung in both their eyes, Madeline feeling fully protected for the first time in years.

“So you got here okay?” she asked when Jay loosened his arms.

“Uh yeah. _We_ did.” he said, the corner of his lips curling.

“We?” Madeline said confused, Will still hidden by the curtain.

Will took this opportunity to make his way to them, taking in his sister for the first time in half a decade. “Hi Maddie” he breathed out, his eyes creasing.

A sharp inhale filled the room as Madeline’s eyes widened. She stood there, frozen, only her eyelashes fluttering as she blinked in disbelief. “Will?” she choked out as if she was imagining him.

“Yeah Maddie. It’s me” he shared a rueful smile. 

“Uh- Wha- You’re-” she struggled to speak against her quickening breaths, overcome with emotion. Her heartbeat filled her body like thunder, so loud she couldn’t even think. 

Guilt consumed Jay as he watched the light strip away behind his older brother's eyes. _I shouldn’t have made him come_ , he cursed himself _What was I thinking??_

“I- I’m sorry Maddie. I shouldn’t have- I-I’ll go” Will struggled to choke back the tears. He kicked himself for even feeling … he couldn’t even put a word to it. _I mean what was he expecting? For her to just jump into his arms like when she was 5? After what happened the last time?_ The doctor rushed to put his coat on but stopped at the gush of air from the arms crashing around his waist.

“Y- You’re here” she cried into him, “Y-You came back.”

The two brothers stared at each other in confusion, Will’s arms limp at his sides. _Jay, what’s happening?! I dunno man, do something!!_

“Maddie?” Will spoke gently, trying to loosen away from her grip so that he could see her face, but she clung on tighter.

“D-Don’t let go. Not yet” her voice muffled against his shirt.

His heart clenched as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. After a while, her grip loosened and she blinked up at him.

“You okay?” he asked softly.

“Yeah” she smiled wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “Sorry about your shirt”

“All good. You sure you’re okay? I can go.” Will searched her face, looking for confirmation.

She scrunched her nose in confusion, hanging up her periwinkle wool coat “You jus-”

“Alrigghttt. I got a regular, a cappuccino, your usual and … I just interrupted something didn’t I?” The brothers turned around to find a 20 something barista paused at the landing - he had white skin, brown side parted hair and blue plaids. _College student? Probably goes to DePaul_ Jay thought. 

“All good.” Madeline laughed before raising her eyebrows and smirking “Wait is that?”

“Mmhh Rosa's tres leches. You know what she always says - celebration calls for cake” the barista said, placing Madeline’s order where Will had sat.

“You guys, Rosa’s tres leches is _heavenly_ ” she beamed before helping Nic when she noticed him pausing where to place the others. “Nic, these are my brothers Jay and Will. Jay and Will meet Nic, the barista extraordinaire” 

They all exchanged smiles and small talk as the siblings made their way to the banquette - Madeline where Nic had placed her latte and Jay by the windows while Will pulled up a chair and sat opposite him. 

The brothers didn’t fail to catch how this ‘Nic’ touched their little sister's arm or how he winked at her before he left. 

_Gotta give it to this guy for not crumbling under Jay’s stare. That thing is deadly_ Will amused.

“Soo that’s Nic huh?” He teased. “He’s _friendly,_ ” Jay added. 

“Mmhh and a coffee maker genius” Madeline smiled at her napkin which displayed a doodle of a robot holding a steaming mug. The brothers raised their eyebrows when she looked up from adding flowers around it. “What? It’s just a thing we do” 

“Uh huh sure. My barista draws me things _all the time_ ” Will teased again. 

“And winks at me too” Jay muttered.

“Stooop. You guys are just salty cause you don’t have a coffee place” she pouted rolling her eyes. 

Will chuckled, finding her expression just as adorable as when she was 6.“So you come here a lot huh?” he asked. 

“Yeah it’s like my special hiding place. Reminds me of home …” They caught the faraway look in her eyes before she shook them off. Jay watched as she fiddled with a charm on her bracelet, debating in her head. “What is it Mads?” he asked softly. 

“Um- When do you have to go back?” she shared a rueful smile looking at Will. 

“Never. I moved back here 3 years ago” 

“Wait, you’re here? And staying?” she shook her head, doing a double take. 

“Uh yeah that’s the plan” Will gulped, waiting to scope her reaction. 

“This is- Wha- I mean- I didn’t think you’d-” 

“Maddie you okay?” Will tried to catch her face. 

They watched as she breathed out deeply “Yeah” - when she looked up, her features were filled with light “You came home”

“Yeah, I did” Will chuckled, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“So? What do you do? D’you have a practice? You’re still a surgeon right?” she asked with the same curiosity as she had done with Jay. 

“Mads, you’ll be happy to know that our brother here got bored of the breast implants. Isn’t that right?” Jay amused. 

“Shut the fu-” Will breathed out before clearing his throat. 

“Ooo Will! Language” Jay tutted “Come on man pay up” 

“You guys, I’m old enough,” Madeline laughed. 

“Nope, never,” he grinned, handing a dollar bill to Madeline. “And yeah, I’m now an ER doc at Chicago Med”

“Chicago Med like Gaffneys?” she tilted her head. 

“Yeah…?” 

“That’s- Okay, this is gonna sound random but do you know Dr Rhodes? He’s a surgeon too” 

The two brothers choked on their coffees at the mention.

“Y-Yeah. Will works with him” Jay coughed out, Will yet to recover. 

“What do you think of him?” the brothers noticed the slight nervousness through her nonchalant tone. 

“Connor? He’s a good guy. One of the best surgeons in the city” Will said. 

“Woahh. High praise for someone that you called - what was it? a little arrogant?” Jay raised his brow. 

“What? Will, Connors not like that” she said, jokingly pushing his arm. 

“Yeah Yeah I know that now.” Will rolled his eyes before going back to investigate, needing to put his mind at ease. “Hang on, how do you know him?” _Was she Connor’s patient? What happened? Why is Maddie needing a cardiothoracic surgeon of all things? When? How had he not noticed? Why the hell didn’t Connor tell him?_

“Well not really. You guys probably know him more - we met at this charity thing. He’s really nice, we had dinner last week” Madeline chattered not noticing their change in expression. 

“H- Mads, What?” Jay tensed. They only really knew each other through the ED and the occasional drink at Molly’s but unlike Will, Jay had liked Connor from the beginning. _But him having dinner with his sister? She’s only 19!_ The red started to build up in his body and he looked to Will, _Are you hearing this? Jay, man. Calm down, just see where this goes._ Jay rolled his eyes at the response but quickly tuned back into Madeline’s light chatter. 

“... place we went to, I can’t remember the name but they have like _the best_ tacos. And you know what we did? Ordered every single one off the menu cause they all looked _soo good_. All 12! Worth it though and I don’t know how but they tasted even better the next day.” she laughed showing them her phone. 

The screen showing a laughing Connor in a little restaurant, their table filled with tacos. Neither of them had ever seen him look more joyous. Jay shot a look to Will _See man what did I tell you? So? Jay c'mon man, he just took her out for tacos._ Jay wasn’t even surprised at Will's response. _Docs, always seeing the benefit of the doubt._

Needing _proof_ Jay asked, “You just go out for dinner?” 

“Yeah. Or for coffee… or brunch. Honestly I think he’s just worried that I’m not eating enough or something” she joked. “Not that I’m complaining though. He knows really cool places. Oh and you know what he’s surprisingly good at?”

“What?” Will chuckled although Jay caught the nervousness building behind his eyes. 

“Shopping!” she chuckled. 

“H-He took you shopping?” Jay reiterated, more to prove a point to Will. 

“Mmhh. I was stressed out cause I needed a dress for this gala but I don’t really like shopping so” she shrugged, flicking through her phone. “I already picked it out but do you guys want to see?”

The brothers agreed in unison and their eyes creased as they flicked through, their sister looking graceful in numerous gowns. They paused as they got to a video, wanting to get permission. 

“Oh yeah. I deleted the other ones after I showed Charlie but that’s the one I’m gonna wear.”

> “What number’s this one?” they instantly recognised Connor’s voice. The camera was pointed towards a doorway where blush metallic wallpaper peeked out towards the champagne coloured space. 
> 
> “Umm I think number 8?” Madeline’s voice carried from the connecting room. 
> 
> The space seemed quiet, light music playing in the background. _A private fitting room? So this is what shopping with The Connor Rhodes is like …_
> 
> “Here we go …” she announced in an intricate lilac knee length gown, embroidered with dainty flower motifs, the shimmering beads complimenting her eyes. “What do you think?” she bit her lip. 
> 
> “Honey, you look beautiful,” a smile was evident in his voice. 
> 
> “Connor, you say that about every dress” she huffed, still in the doorway. 
> 
> “Well because it's true” He chuckled. “But more importantly, how does it feel?”
> 
> “Ummm flowy…” she said as she glided around before going to sit on a french style chair. “Passes the sit test” she shrugged. 
> 
> “Okayy but how do you feel?” he coaxed.
> 
> “I like it. I think- I think it feels the best out of all the other ones” She smiled timidly. 
> 
> “Yeah? That’s good, do you want to try on more?” 
> 
> “Mmm, No” she shook her head. The brothers noticed a look they didn’t recognize. 
> 
> “You sure? We can come back a different day” 
> 
> They observed as Madeline sat there, her mind forcing her somewhere else - an all too familiar look to Will. 
> 
> “Maddie? Honey what’s wrong?” 
> 
> She blinked slightly and flashed a smile “Nothing. I’m fine” They saw her contemplating to share before continuing “It’s just uh- I feel good in this- but that’s good right? And you know what Ashley told me? This gown, it's called ‘The Moonlit Meadow’ isn’t that perfect?” 
> 
> They couldn’t quite place the look that flashed briefly as it got masked over by her smile. 
> 
> “Uhh- yeah.” Will recognised Connor holding back as he switched to a lighter tone, “Very on theme. So this the one?”
> 
> “Yep. It’s the one. Oh! Just a sec, Ashley already found me the perfect shoes and clutch too” she said, disappearing back into the pink room. She came back out a few seconds later with a matching clutch and strappy silver heels.
> 
> “Real pretty. What’d you say? We do a show?” Connor encouraged. 
> 
> “Only because there’s no one here and I want Charlie to see the look” she laughed before starting to glide across the room, her cheeks flushing. 
> 
> “Yeahhh! Nice!”
> 
> As she jokingly twirled, they noticed that the wall at the far end of the room looked out of place - Jay identified that it was covered in tissue paper, hints of a mirror peaking through. 

If the girl in the video was anyone other than his sister then Jay might have said that Connor was a sweet guy. But this was Madeline. He took some breaths trying to control the bubbling anger - _The way things went down with Robin was harsh and we all heard Connor’s reputation but man his baby sister?! The hell is he doing hiding it from Will? The nerve of this guy. I mean they work with each other. Calling her honey my ass. And who’s this Charlie prick?_

 _Man this is not good._ Will thought, wincing at Jays quiet but glaring eyes. _Jays ready to bulldoze in_ “Maddie-” Will started calmly but was taken over by Jay 

“Mads, this isn’t right” he said through a clenched jaw. 

“What isn’t?” Madeline had a genuine look of confusion. “Wh-Why are you mad? We just went shopping” 

The rage he had that was about to be spilled over was reigned back as soon as he saw her puppy eyes. “Mads- You’re 19 and he’s a little older than Will. And he’s calling you Hon-” 

Light filled the room as Madeline bursted into laughter “Oh my- you don’t think-” she wheezed.

At the realization, Will relaxed and joined. 

“Wha- Will, this isn’t funny.” Jay shook his head. 

“It is though. Y-you don’t honestly think- t-that C-Connor and I are- ” she wheezed through her laughing fit, now crashing on the banquette. 

“So you two aren’t together? There’s nothing going on?” Jay asked, needing the confirmation.

“No!” she laughed “Obviously! Connor’s not like that! And if I was, I would have never shown you the video” 

Will saw Jay visibly relax and chuckle, “Mads, don’t do that to me again. Because I was gonna go over there and-”

“Nope. No thanks. Don’t need to hear” she joked, “And full disclosure so you can fully chill, we started this because he’s been helping me with some maths stuff for class. He’s a really good teacher” 

“Sorry what? You have to take maths at college?” Jay feigned disgust. 

“Aww look at that. Our little going to college” Will beamed, “So? C’mon what’s your major? Where’d you go?” 

“PoliSci and French minor. Love it so far” she beamed. “And It’s their online course but Northwestern.” she smiled timidly. 

“Wha- Maddie! Come’ere!” the two brothers beamed, hugging Madeline as they sandwiched her in between. “This is amazing Mads. You know that right?” Jay said, ruffling her hair. “Yeah Maddie, super proud” Will grinned. “And Jay told me you’re training to be a ballerina?” 

“Mmhh. At Joffrey’s. I’m in their studio company program”

“That sounds great but hang on cause I wanna know what that means” Jay said, already scrolling through his phone. 

“Oh, it’s just another name for their trainees” she brushed off but they instantly recognised that there was more.

“Mads, it says that it’s a scholarship program” Jay coaxed. 

“Yeah, but it’s really not a big deal” she blushed. 

“Sorry, what’s that?” Jay smirked, enveloping her. 

“No big deal? Maddie, are you kidding? It’s the biggest deal” Will joined in. 

“Stoppp, you're squishing me!” Madeline squirmed. 

“No way you’re getting out of this Halstead hug” Will grinned, tightening his arms. 

As they laughed, the same warmth filled their minds. 

_I’m home_

* * *

**A/N** \- Hi, long time no see! I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to update. I've had this chapter in the works for a while and I'm still not fully happy with it but decided to post it anyway. I'm sorry of it's not very good. Thank you so much for reading and I have some ideas for the next chapter so hopefully the next update won't be as long of a wait :) The characters belong to Dick Wolf and are from the One Chicago universe he created. 


	10. Elephants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming back to this even though its been a while since I updated. This is a continuation of the Halstead siblings’ conversation in the previous chapter :) 
> 
> TW - pregnancy related death

Madeline basked in the warmth, feeling her roots revitalising as their chatter enveloped her, a sense of tribe, a much missed shield. Still, _It_ seeped in corroding the cocoon.

_It_. An unwanted guest - never leaving, always looming. Ready to creep, sprinkling in doubt, threatening to ruin… well, anything. _They won’t like them. A decorated hero turned detective and a doctor. They like boxes, they like lines, they like nor-_

_“Babe, just tell them already!”_ she could hear Jess’ laughter. Angelic against _Its_ coils. _“You’ve got this! They all love them, what’s different this time?”_

_But what if they don’t Jess? What if they lea-_

"-addie, you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry" The brothers watched Madeline flash a smile. They didn't miss her tenseness, the way she clasped her trembling hands onto her teacup. The siblings were glad at the more smoother than expected reunion but they all knew of the certain elephants they couldn’t ignore. They decided to ride out the silence.

Finally, she broke the quiet. “I uh- I need to tell you guys something. Something important” That phrase paired with her expression would have warranted teasing from the brothers followed by Madeline's bursts of laughter. Something related to getting seconds of ice cream or wanting a second dog perhaps. But this wasn't 5 years ago.

Madeline bore into them, searching as if their eyes laid a hint of what their reactions would be. Both brothers tried for a reassuring smile, hoping to pass this sudden test she had put them on. Jay hadn't felt this level of nervousness, if ever - which was saying something considering he sat across from _the worst_ of what Chicago had to offer everyday - he felt as if she didn't like what she found, there would be another five years lost.

When she seemed satisfied, Madeline spoke, “Jay- you’ve met but uh I don’t think I introduced him. Not officially anyway. And Will, you haven’t met yet but,” she took a deep breath and beamed, “I have a son. His name is Nathan, Nate … He’s 3 and I love him, more than anything in the world. I know- sounds corny but it’s true” Her expression was undeniable.

Will was elated. He had heard from Jay that night when the detective had stumbled into his apartment - “ _Will, she was right there. And there’s this kid, the cutest kid man. He called her mama… Fuck - Will, she had a kid and we weren’t there” -_ still, he could count the times he had been this happy. The brothers knew that after half a decade apart, it would be a gamble if their little sister would want them to be in her life let alone her family’s. Will hoped that her telling them was a good sign - maybe some sort of invitation that would lead to him becoming an uncle… He realised he had just been sitting there - smiling like an idiot - and rushed to congratulate but was stopped by Madeline's shake of her head.

"Please. J-just let me- I need to tell you this" Madeline breathed out, her eyes dripping with something they couldn't quite place.

Jay recognised the mint green envelope that she pulled out of her purse. She opened it and laid out a photograph on the table, her movements so careful as if the slightest jolt would would make it evaporate.

They immediately recognised Madeline - younger and thinner - sat on a sofa, mid laughter with a young woman in the middle. The woman reflecting Madeline (who Jay guessed was in her early 20's at most) had blonde hair, glowing skin and a growing bump to match. She was snuggled against a similarly aged man with dark brown skin who lovingly gazed at her as he held her close.

"Danny took this one, it's one of my favourites," her eyes crinkled at the memory. "That's Ty and Jess - they're family y'know. Really helped me out"

Jay recognised that look even through her misting eyes - it was one he had seen many times before - the look Nadia and Erin had when they had talked about each other.

Madeline continued, "Jess and I - we were so close, like sisters. And people used to think we were cause of our eyes," she shared a wistful smile, pausing as her baby pink nails traced the edges of the photograph.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows at the past tense - _were they no longer friends? did this 'Ty' have something to do with it? had this ‘Jess’ just upped and left?_

When she looked up, her eyes were filled with pride, "Nate ... he was a preemie, nearly 2 months early. But healthy considering -4 lbs, 6oz."

A smile touched the brothers' eyes as they imagined their little sister, a part of that precious moment. But their smiles faded away at her features starting to cloud.

"But Jess-," Madeline started as if on rote, her agony seeping through her blankness, "-she had complications and they took her for an emergency c section-”

Jay recognised that look as she trailed off. It was one he was all too familiar with - the one he couldn’t hide. Hoping to be the anchor Will and now Hailey were, Jay shifted closer to her where she was fiddling with her bracelet. 

Madeline jerked, blinking herself back to the banquette. She took a shaky breath and continued, "Before they took her, I was so scared y’know?” Jay couldn’t take his little sister’s gaze as it crushed his spirit.

Her eyes empty, she shared a hollow laugh, “But she was laughing … told me to chill out, that she'd be back with Nate before I knew it-” She braved a tight smile, hoping to smother the pain. Knowing it never did. It didn’t matter that every syllable had been rehearsed, imprinted in her mind - Madeline always wished she could pause at Jess, beaming before they wheeled her away, before they-

The brothers held a breath as they realised where this was heading. Will had seen one too many of these cases even working in the ED. The ones where what should be a happy occasion would turn into one of much grief - the ones where more often than not, they couldn’t give answers.

“They said she lost too much blood- t-that there was nothing they could do.”

“Jess- she never got to hold him”

They saw the blame laced with confusion. The waves of emotions she had fought to surf, the numbers of tears she had shed, the days she had clung onto to arrive at this exact place with her grief. They saw it all. They knew the power of the nightmare those two sentences held. And it was too great.

Will found himself thanking God in that moment. He didn’t know what to feel about that. Or in fact any of it. Guilty for being thankful that it had been the friend that was struck with the ultimate misfortune? Or was it because he let this happen to her, his little sister in the first place? Maybe it was both. Or was it relief? _None of that changes anything._ He could hear in the back of his mind. _None of that changes the fact that you failed her._

Jay didn’t know what to say. Having done one too many notifications and witnessed the tragedy that came with the job, he knew. That no apology would be enough. _Probably better than none though_ he thought. But everything about one just sounded phoney. Because in the end, it wouldn’t change the fact that he hadn’t been there. That he had failed her. All he could bring himself to say was,

“What’s he like?”

“Nate? He has Ty’s eyes y’know. So Much life in them. And he has this laugh … you have to hear him, it’s just like Jess’ - it lightens everything. Oh and he’s silly and hilarious, just like his Dad … has the biggest heart … he’s just amazing.”

_You have to meet him, I want you to._ She wanted to say. Madeline didn’t know why she felt as if she had to make an appeal of Nate. _You’ve done this before - why all this now?_ she thought. But she knew, that this was different. Because this was Jay and Will.

As he listened to Madeline beam about her son, Jay couldn’t help but replay the all too short meeting he had at her porch that day. And before he could swallow it back, it slipped out,

“Can we meet him?” _Shit. That was way too soon._

But his growing doubt came to a halt as soon as Madeline’s features lit up. “Y-Yeah? For real? You want to?”

“Maddie, heck yeah! Of course we do” The brothers’ reply didn’t do justice for how truly, undeniably happy they were.

_See? Told ya_ Madeline heard Jess’ smile. She breathed again, _It_ silenced. Madeline couldn’t put a word to it but it felt great, something like relief and ecstasy rolled into one. But she wasn’t done yet. She still had another brother to ask about …

"And Mousey?”

Will gave a cautious glance, knowing how much it hurt his little brother to see his best friend go.

Jay chuckled at that nickname. He hadn’t heard that one in a while, “He went back about 2 years ago, comms specialist”

“Really?"

“Mmhh. Do you remember the sergeant we used to tell you about? Well, he put a unit together and he reached out to Mouse” Jay smiled, proud.

With the same admiration as when she was little, Madeline spoke, “Seriously? That’s awesome! That unit’s lucky they have him. And … he’s okay?” Will noticed the look his younger siblings shared - he wondered if it had something to do with that one and only phone call he ever got from Pat while he was in New York.

“Mads, He’s good, spoke to him about a month ago - I should probably call him again soon though” _Tell him you’re finally home, safe._

“Yeah? That’s great. Maybe I’ll join you, make it a surprise? Oh! And do you know his address? I want to send him something. Samoas and Cinnamon Crunch right? And jerky. Wait… or was that your thing?”

Jay smiled at her chatter, “No, he likes ‘em too Mads. And yeah, I’ll text you everything - Man, he is gonna freak out when he hears you.” He was surprised that Madeline had remembered those little details because even though the nightmares chased him, being overseas felt like another life ago. He guessed in a way it was. Will couldn’t help but feel a pang as he was reminded yet again of how his sister who was barely in school at the time knew more about Jay’s time with the Rangers than him.

“Good. I missed him” she shared a sweet smile before it turned into a mischievous grin. “So?”

“Yes _Madeline_?” Will amused, raising his eyebrows.

She huffed in return, “C’mon! All I know so far is that Jay’s a detective in a district with a nice sergeant and that you work in the Emergency Room in the same hospital as Connor which who kne-”

“Hang on ‘nice’? Which district did _you_ go to?” Jay joked. There was one thing everyone agreed on at the 21st district - Trudy Platt although one of the best cops in the city, nice was not the first word that came to mind.

“Yeah, Sergeant Platt” she stated as if it was the most obvious.

“Pretty sure this is the first and last time I’ll ever hear Platt and nice in the same sentence - the less I have to interact with her the better.” Will dramatically shuddered before laughing with the others.

“But seriously, stop avoiding my question.” Madeline mocked annoyance.

Will jokingly his hands up. “Alright, alright,” He straightened up and announced “Well Maddie, I have a girlfriend. Her name’s Natalie-”

“About damn time too. He’s been pining after her for how long? since you started there?" Jay smirked.

“Ooooh. So she’s at Gaffney’s too? Is she a doctor? Or a nurse? What’s she like?”

Will’s eyes crinkled at her curiosity. “Yeah, we work in the ED together - she’s a doctor too. Natalie’s great, I think you’ll like her. Hang on -” he paused, fumbling with his phone. “She can’t wait to meet you by the way.” He added before giving her his phone.

It was a selfie taken in a park or maybe a garden. Will’s girlfriend ‘Natalie’ was white and had shoulder length brunette hair - there was something kind in her eyes as she laughed. _Probably to one of Will’s Really Bad jokes…_ Madeline amused. _She’s pretty … I’m loving that top, maybe I’ll ask her where it’s from._ Madeline chuckled at her eldest brother’s grin as he held her close. There was only one word to describe his expression - Smitten.

When she swiped to the next picture, she was pretty sure her heart stopped. It was probably taken a few seconds after the first one and everything else was the same except from one unmissable detail. Madeline zeroed in on the toddler now in Natalie’s arms. _Crap, I waited too late. Did I miss becoming an aunt?! How old is he? Maybe like two?_

Will laughed at her shocked beyond belief expression. “You’re not an aunt just yet Tiny. He’s Natalie’s son but hoping that down the road y’know …” He trailed off, giving a lopsided smile.

“You are SO in love with her” she teased before turning her attention to … “Jay?”

“Good luck” Will laughed. “Even if there is someone, he’s not sharing - Believe me Maddie, I’ve tried.”

“Uh-huh. Like I believe _that_. C'mon there's no one?” She tried again, now putting the puppy eyes on max.

“Nope.” Jay smiled and she couldn’t tell if he was lying - she never could to be honest. _Damn his Ranger training._ She was about to let it go but she saw Will raise his eyebrows and take a sip of his mug.

_So there is someone_ she smirked.

-

As he looked at the row of townhouses standing impressive against the dusking sky, Jay wondered what this place was to his little sister. He had barely resisted the urge to ask the whole less than 5 minute drive to this street. The not knowing was honestly killing him but he heard his partners voice, “She’ll come home Jay.” He smiled, hugging Madeline. _Guess I’ll have to follow Hails on this one too._

Watching his younger siblings hugging, Will smiled. _Our family’s back._ Maybe he hadn’t let himself get there but it was clear to him now how much he had craved it. He squeezed her tight, feeling that missing part of his soul starting to be found. And as he watched her walk through the gate, he made a promise right there and then - He wasn’t going to let go. Not this time.

Walking up the stone steps, Madeline couldn’t hide her grin at her body full with that warm cozy feeling. _That’s got to be one of the best days ever._ Replaying bits of the long awaited catch up, she chuckled at Will calling her Tiny - a nickname she almost forgot about and hated when she had turned a teen - she now realised how much she missed it.

The brothers drove back in silence for a while and when Jay heard Will say,

“She didn’t ask about Dad.”

He nodded and stared ahead. That was an elephant he was unwilling to touch. Not yet anyway.

* * *

**A/N** \- Thank you so much for reading! This chapter was really difficult for me to write and at one point I considered deleting the whole series but I kept at it and about 4 months later here we are ;) This one touched on a really heavy topic but I hope I was able to do it justice and that you enjoyed it. I’m still not sure how I feel about it but I think this is the best I can hope for in this chapter - let me know what you think.

I hope you all had a lovely new years and I wish you guys all things good in 2021. Thank you for coming back to this story and for always giving me such lovely feedback x


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